cutting corners

2007-11-15T01:44:00.001-08:00

finished a painting.

2007-11-14T21:27:00.000-08:00

things to be excited about:
kings of convenience
sleepless in seattle
king size carmello
south park
feist
green tea
christmas (i.e. digital rebel eos)
my awesome brother
project runway season 4
cuddling up by my lonesome
illegal art
almost being done with school
feeling like i should be here, doing this
making good/new friends

living
loving
breathing

2007-11-12T16:02:00.001-08:00

today's such a stressful day! holy moly! haha.
registered for my springs classes today, and i wish i felt more satisfied with my schedule. ugh. i managed to work it out so i only have class three days a week, compared to my five days a week i'm doing currently. its not that i don't like my schedule, its just that the courses that i'm working in still fall under the foundation courses for the BFA here at columbia, along with the ultra-mega-boring LAS courses, like new millenium studies (dont even ask me what this course entails, i dont want to know).
Monday:
Art History II: 9:00-11:50
Writing and Rhetoric II: 12:30-1:50
Tuesday:
Drawing I: 8:30-12:20
College Math: 6:30-9:20
Wednesday:
Writing and Rhetoric II: 12:30-1:50
Fundamentals of 2d: 6:00-9:50

overall i think it will be nice only having to go to class three days a week because i finding myself just sleeping in until i have to go to class (we're talking like, 2 or 3 in the afternoon) which is disgusting. i can't keep staying up until 4 in the morning only to wake up a few hours before class, go to class, then do it all again. and on top of all of that i'm still not getting all of my work done. i also need to find a part time job, which i can do if i'm only going to school 3 days a week.

blegh whatever i'm stressed out and feel stupid because i'm so bored in school. yeaaaah boy.

2007-11-11T22:27:00.001-08:00

2007-11-09T00:57:00.000-08:00

"oh yeah that's my little brother, he has down-syndrom.
yeah you can say hi but when your done just come back here
and we can play checkers or something."
-jenn 2007

2007-11-08T23:21:00.002-08:00

i feel like i'm doing the same thing
over n over n over
like moons have moons have moons
(cus they do, here, today)
n' i feel like things are going so fast
all 'round me but i can't slow 'em down
n y'all roll in green grass playing
with lil' boots n' funny bones n' stuff
n' i miss out every day- on the train,
cus i had to do bigger things- (always bigger,
always better) but things
haven't gotten better
just slower
and easier-- with a lot less
trash and alot more green-
blue surrounds me on all five sides but i just
wanna lil'love, wanna lil love
from big city man,
come to the city big man!

so why don't you put a bucket on your head
and call yourself a hat

2007-11-06T23:43:00.000-08:00

don't get me wrong, i really love chicago. and i also really think i should be here, but i feel like i'm missing something. it's not that i'm not enjoying myself, and not learning alot (for if anything is certain it would be the incredible amount i'm learning), but i haven't been able to develop the close social connections that everyone else seems to have already done. i just don't have those three or four kids that i can rely on to cram with, to drink with, and to go exploring/adventuring with. the question is, is that so bad? i guess i'm just worried that i'll look back and realize that my first semester in chicago really wasn't THAT great, or i didn't have THAT much fun. what the fuck?! i don't want to feel/think that, and i dont know what to do about it.

why do i not have a few sassy girl friends to take stupid pictures with and go out together?
why do i not (for the first time in my life) have a few awesome guy friends to rely on and spend
every day with?
(***correction. i feel confident and am very glad i met lily and landon. they make me feel like i'm doing something right and that i can still be friends with regular people and have fun.***)

maybe this is what i need to do. to strip down everything i once used as a security (friends, a comfortable/friendly home, drinking and relationships) and for once be able to focus on ME.
not only do i need to become more comfortable independent of other people, but i really need to put more effort into my artwork and get serious when i'm working in the studio.]

ugh. i need to sleep, this is going nowhere.

2007-11-05T22:29:00.000-08:00

taking showers at night is the nicest thing i could do for myself here/now!

2007-11-05T02:08:00.000-08:00

oh man tonight sucked.
how did i not get a single page done
when i have 8 to go?
by tomorrow at 6?

talked to jenn for a long time,
clicked the refresh button over 6000 times,
tried to call jason,
talked to lo,
fought with max,
smoked far too many squares and
watched the christmas lights go up
into the trees outside.

i have to write 2 four page papers
by tomorrow at 6, register for classes,
and clean the bathroom/vacuum.

my life is fucked.

2007-11-04T16:17:00.000-08:00

i am now accepting donations so i can buy this expensive book (a collection of Tracey Emin's work).

i've been looking at alot of her work and i realize
that i might be on the same sort of page (sketch and journal wise), but she's definately got the practice down.
i will use her as a sort of figurehead for my new development in my 2-d/3-d studies, because she has taken the glimpse of style that i have shown and pulled it out to 100%.

i need her guts.

2007-11-04T16:03:00.000-08:00

being a mother will scare me when it comes.

2007-11-03T16:16:00.000-07:00

last night was so ridiculous.
pbr, a little whiskey and funny funny friends.

i think it would be nice to get a place with lily
next year.
i drew her a comic on our brown paper bag,
and i wish i would have taken a picture (its taped
to the bathroom door at landon's.)

things are going well here,
when i can get up before noon
and dont have to clean up anyone's puke.
ta-da-ta-da-ta-da

things i need to do:
start looking for places next year
do all homework
clean apartament
get good mittens/scarf
drink more
start sketching for final critique in 3-d.

2007-11-02T19:24:00.000-07:00

watching the local drug dealer
that always sits outside your building
get thrown up against a cop car
after being fucked by an undercover

makes chicago what it is.

2007-09-23T20:41:00.001-07:00

2007-09-23T20:40:00.000-07:00

lets see how long it takes for me to get this running.